Herman the Wonder Snake

Herman was a reticulated python that measured roughly 12 feet long and weighed probably 80 pounds. He performed at The Crazy Horse, here in town. Locals will recognize that as being one of our infamous stripper clubs - and not one of the nicer ones, either.

His performing partner’s name was Chessy L’Amour. I’ll leave her description to your imagination, except to say that nature did not give her that chest – modern medicine did, I’m sure.

Mother and I really wanted to go see him, but we were slightly apprehensive since neither of us had ever been to a place like that. Love of nature won out over embarrassment, so we pulled in to the parking lot.

We sat there for a moment or two, just looking at the entrance to the building. Mother finally said, “We don’t have to go in there if you don’t want to.”

“I’ve never been to a place like this before… but, I really want to see Herman the Wonder Snake, so let’s go in.” I replied.

So, we went in.

As luck would have it, the very second we were in the front door, a group of guys sitting across the room at the bar turned around and saw us, and yelled out, “Ruth!” Mother looked at me, with her best mom-look, and said “You said you’ve never been here before!”

Honestly, I hadn’t. Those guys just happened to work on the pipeline with me. I had no idea they were going to be there, and they were just as surprised to see me as I was to see them.

We joined them at the bar, ordered our drinks, and waited for Chessy L’Amour to come on stage and do her thing with Herman the Wonder Snake.

It was pretty much what you’d imagine it to be.

Afterwards, we went over to the stage and got to meet Herman up close. Unfortunately, that also meant getting to meet Chessy up close, as well – her attributes were even bigger in real life!

Herman, however, was absolutely beautiful. I held him draped around my neck with his head in one hand and his tail wrapped three times around my body, and the extra few inches laying on the floor. He was heavy! He was also very nice: calm, cool, and not freaked out by all the commotion going on around him.

I have to point out, by the way, that in a room filled to capacity with construction type guys – I was the only person in the room brave enough to even touch the snake. Aside from Chessy, of course, who did a whole lot more than just touch – but I’ve blocked that part out of my memory banks.

Needless to say, I made points with the guys back at work.