Update on Mother

I think it’s time for an update on Mother. Her mental health has deteriorated quite rapidly following that bump on the head that she had a while ago. I was warned this might happed by my Uncle, who had just gone through that same scenario with my Aunt. That warning prepared me a little bit, but it’s still very upsetting to witness first-hand. 

Her grasp of time is mostly gone. She is very confused about the darkness and does not believe us when we tell her it’s going to get light again in a couple hours. For her, a couple minutes are like days, so the concept of “hours” is almost unfathomable. Her sleep pattern is so erratic, she’s up for hours in the middle of the night. By the time Bryan get’s up at 4:00 she’s already awake and thinking the world is coming to an end.

We got her this cool clock the other day, in hopes that it will help. We have been pointing at it every time she asks what day or what time it is, and she is learning to look at it herself. The clock came from a non-profit organization in Anchorage that provides technology for assisted living conditions. They also gave us alarms for the front door and the garage door, so we get notified whenever she opens the door. This happens at least once or twice a week, usually around 2:00 in the morning. These items are on loan: She can use them for as long as she needs to, and then we will return them so they can be rehomed to the next person who needs them.

Her dreams are also quite strong. Often times, she’ll wake up (sort of) thinking there is a cat upstairs that needs rescued, or that somebody had called out for her to find them a flashlight. The other day, she got in her car and went to visit “the Bargers”. She told us they live right across the street from the high school. For those of you who don’t know: Barger is her maiden name, and we live right across the street from the high school. So, effectively, she was going to go visit herself. We tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t have it. So instead, Bryan hopped into my car and followed her around until she finally wound her way back to the house. Once we got her settled back down and everyone calm again, he told me that her driving was very erratic, she had not stopped at any stop sign or stop light, and her speed was anything from 5 mph to 75 mph.

After consulting with family members, it was decided that she is no longer allowed to drive at all. We disabled her vehicle and had her license revoked. She is not happy, to say the least. She was so mad at Bryan when he explained what the certified letter from the DMV meant (we did it legally, so she really does not have a license anymore) she actually threatened to shoot him. I am very upset about that, to tell you the truth. That is just NOT acceptable. We had taken her guns away from her years ago, but still = not cool.

In the midst of all this drama, we actually had started the process to get her into the Pioneer Home. As you might recall, this is our second attempt – so this time we’re going about it a little differently. We are telling her rather than asking her. She needs to get in there so she can get the care she needs. Thankfully she is excited about it and wants to go. At least she wants to go during her more lucid moments. In her not-so-lucid moments, she’s all over the map. She told Bryan this morning that she has to move because they took her license away from her.

There is a lot of paperwork involved. Kelly and I have been slogging our way though it together, with help from Bryan and the rest of the family. Lots of doctor appointments and visits to the lawyer looking for her will. It’s all very overwhelming at times.

But – we finally got through it all and turned in the stack of paperwork, and we now have an actual date for her move! She will become a resident of The Pioneer Home on Thursday, January 9^th!!!

She will be placed in a shared room on a temporary basis but will be moved into a single room once some reconstruction work is complete. That could be as much as four months from now, but at least she will be in the home and taken care of by people who know what they are doing. I have asked if we can go look at her space on Monday so that we have a better idea of what she can bring with her – but I have not yet heard back from them.

These are all very big, life-changing events that are scary and difficult to comprehend in the best of times. Mother is doing the best she can to deal with all the emotions that come bubbling up. If you have any prayers to spare, you might send them to us!